This post is a little lighter today. Recently, happy days have become one in a few, but happy moments have been every other hour, so I have been trying to focus on the little moments of happiness to look back on and to make me happier in life. Focusing on the little things makes me appreciate what I have more and lets me be more grateful in my everyday life, making me kinder and happier. I strive so hard to be that person, the happy friend, the happy child, the free one. It gets exhausting, so I need to stop trying to be this image 100% of the time and to just be myself in the happy moments and the moments where I want to scream. I feel it is healthier that way. To not have an image of who you want to be stuck in your head because you may not be that person, and that is okay. It is okay to not be perfect, it is okay to not be happy every moment. No one is. But something to expand that happiness is to accept the fact that an image is just an image in a portfolio full of moments.
So embrace the happy moments today, cause there always is one if you look hard enough. :)
The fluctuation of friends within someone's life is tragic, yet unavoidable, but sometimes it is hard to tell when to separate from a toxic friendship. Recently, I have had a group of friends (3 of us) and slowly but surely, I have been left out of everything and it feels awful to say the least. I feel now is the time I need to separate because if they don't want me there, I don't want to be there, and I am tired of being treated terribly for doing nothing wrong. So, main point, know when you are in a toxic friendship or relationship because if you realize it too late (like me) you keep getting hurt over and over again, which could have been avoidable. Realizing can be hard though, because if you love someone you can't always be real with yourself about what you deserve and what they are giving you.
Recently, I have had a problem, a brief one, but a problem with someone I had been growing really close to. So here are some things to avoid doing in friendships...
1. Ex's are off the market unless you are told by that said friend that it was okay for you to get involved romantically with them.
2. Respect Boundaries (Do not go on your friend's phone unless given permission).
3. Be real. Don't give out a fake version of yourself cause then its not really a friendship is it?
4. Jealousy is overrated.
5. If a friend claims interest in someone, do not try and get with them. It hurts and it is not a nice thing to do.
6. Even though most of these include boys... Do NOT let a boy get in between you and a friend.
That's all I have for y'all today, Have a great rest of the week!
Wow. I'm here. In this time I've dreamed and wondered about. Something I've been looking forward to and dreading at the exact same time. I don't know where I'm gonna be next year, and that terrifies me because I am a worrisome perfectionist that shouldn't worry about half the things I do. Senior year, I feel old. I mean, I have a job, I pay for gas, but that doesn't compare to real life or even college when I'm almost forced to go into debt because of the amount of money college costs. These are my worries, but I'm also trying to make this my best year yet, cause it's my last one. I want to go to every football game, I want to go to homecoming, prom, and other school events. I have made new friends that I couldn't have dreamed of making two years ago. This is my time. This is our time. And I can't wait to fully live it.
Tune in soon for a rundown about friendships and what they should mean to people.
Today was most of my really good friend's last day of high school, and I have no idea what I am going to do next year without them. They are starting a new life, a new beginning. Most are off to college, two of them are going on this amazing 9-month mission strip around the world. They are starting over, experiencing so many new things. I am going to be going through the same thing next year, but as I cry while writing this, because the future is scary and I am going to miss them a lot, I know that those 'new beginnings' are going to take them and I (eventually) so far. Til' next year my readers (whoever you may be), have an amazing summer and an amazing life.
Passion exists in so many forms, and moves so many mountains within our past and present society and will continue to do. It exists in many forms of shakespearian literature including Romeo and Juliet and The Tragedy of Othello, as well as our everyday thoughts and ambitions. Passion is an overwhelming devotion to someone, something, or a specific idea of yourself and finding that aspect of yourself. I believe everyone has a passion to something, for someone it may be world domination (Adolf Hitler), for another it may be for a specific Starbucks drink (any 12-15 year old girl with a growing caffeine addiction. My passion, specifically, is helping people, saving people, medicine, and growing the field of medicine. I know, strange for someone who has had such a motivation to writing for all of 2 years, but I do not get the same feeling writing as some of my friends do, and yeah, I love writing, but I am in love with the human body and all its characteristics. I think that is the real difference between love and passion. Like you (talking generally here) can love your mom or dad, but you, hopefully, are in love with your significant other. You get a different feeling with your significant other than you do with your parents. That is the passion. Thanks for listening (reading?). I'll see y'all next week to talk about new beginnings.
What a curious and powerful thing love is, in ancient tragedies it causes death and wars, but it also brings this light into someone's life that I do not believe could be found anywhere else. I am not speaking from experience, I am speaking from things I have heard from friends, books, movies, and passion filled music. I have seen what it does to people around me, and I want to experience that completely and fully, with the hurt, the happiness, and this overall devotion to another human being. Maybe I am completely wrong, and love is just this chemical reaction in our brains, but I really, truly hope I am not. Thank you. I hope you feel the same way about this as I do, if not, please tell me why in the comments. Tune in again next week for a passage on passion.
Patience. A valuable quality for a person to have, and also something I do not have. But what is patience? Is it waiting without complaint for a friend late to lunch? Is it waiting for someone to text you back? Is it waiting on a teacher to put grades into the grade book? Or is it just waiting, in the general aspect? The concept of patience is fairly simple if you think about it, but how? How can I wait when all I do is worry? How can I wait when my anxiety overcomes me? Sure, it is a good quality to have, but you have to have so many more qualities to sustain patience. You have to be calm, kind, and not-stressed-out, so if you have that patience I applaud you full-heartedly. I, however, am most likely the most impatient person in Atlanta, I try so hard not to be, but sometimes that is quite impossible. I get so anxious when I am waiting for a certain person to text me or snapchat me, or when I am always on time and the person i am meeting is almost always late. Here is my rant about the complexity and simplicity of patience. Thanks for tuning in. Come back next week to read about my perspective of LOVE !
The past couple of Wednesdays I have been going to Church, celebrating God without really knowing exactly what or why I have been celebrating until tonight. Today, I found God, I listened to Arthur, the preacher, talk about Job and his complete and utter faith towards God when absolutely everything was going wrong in his life from tornados killing his entire family to having this awful skin diseases with pulsating puss. There was this single moment during his prayer, as we finished the night, where I felt absolutely everything and broke into tears. It was like at that very moment I gave myself over, and I want to keep feeling that feeling, it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was a clash of sadness, regret, and guilt coupled with this happiness, this joy to have finally let myself go, to not rely completely on myself for everything I go through. I want to keep feeling that euphoric sense of hope, and passion. That was my spark of faith, something that everyone I know at my church has gone through, and something I needed to feel at exact moment. The minutes after my 'spark' my friends and I hugged each other and swayed as the Christian music played, each os us with tears in our eyes and smiles on our faces. I now have this urge to pray, something I have never felt the need to do, this urge to learn everything about God and Jesus, and to celebrate it, fully. I realize that not everyone will experience that feeling, and maybe they don't need to, but I know I needed it.
Come back next week to read about my perspective of patience, can you wait?
Drama, oh how I despise it. Today my parents got in a fight over something my mom said to her best friend, who then told her husband, one of my dad’s best friends, who then told all of my dad’s friends. My dad proceeded to get mad at my mom because what she said got so twisted in translation it made it seem cynical. I swear they have more drama in their life than I have had in my entire high school career. Talk about suburban living. Anyway, drama, it exists in all of our lives, whether it be good, a new boy in someone’s life, or bad, a misunderstanding between friends that turns into this huge fight, and sometimes we can control it (prevent it if you’re like me) but other times we can’t. I guess that is the beauty/ interesting aspect of it though, the unexpected twist that Hollywood loves to capture. The world thrives on drama, people are exploited, countries go to war, conflicts arise everywhere and most of us can’t do anything to stop it. So, I guess my point for this rant is to tell you guys not to worry about the drama you can’t control, hell be Switzerland if you have to, because its just simply not your problem.
Bring out your Bibles, cause we are talking about religion next Wednesday!